olivergaskarth:

thefoxalchemist:

falloutwookie:

I feel like everyone on the internet needs to see this

Everyone in the WORLD needs to see this.

This is so important

kobetyrant:

the word “hoe” gets thrown around way too loosely I did not religiously suck dick to share that title with you virgins running a porn blog

(via breakfastburritoe)

heathicorn:

am i the only one who rehearses things i might say in advance? and I don’t mean like my theoretical oscars acceptance speech i mean like what i’ll say to the pizza guy when I answer the door in my pjs

(via ibelikenah)

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via ibelikenah)

kas-a:

Is it ice tea or iced tea

drarna:

i may not be your cup of tea but i’m your 10th shot of tequila

(Source: neptunain, via sniffing)

sasukazes:

i’ve made a lot of mistakes in life, but at least i don’t support nash grier

(via ibelikenah)

hyperlink37:

talents include looking 12 and saying thank you to the bus driver

(via ibelikenah)

spork:

I hate when I’m in class, working on my personal writing and someone leans over and goes “WHat R U wRITing” like your eulogy if you don’t back the fuck up you soggy lampshade 

(via ibelikenah)

makeoutinheaven:

dunebat:

coldswarkids:

edwardspoonhands:

thelegendofkungjew:

doxian:

d-dinosaur:

rknjl:

newvagabond:

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.
<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN
EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE
PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA
SURVIVE

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA
REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT
PRETEND IT’S 2BYA
EVOLVE

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 
FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 
PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.
STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.
THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.
TIME DOES NOT EXIST.
BE.

Wow.

I feel like something really important just happened
Can we all just agree that if you leak nudes, whether it be a celebrities or just some person you know, that you’re an asshole

(Source: urtotallynotpunkrock, via ibelikenah)

I have 3 personalities
  • The one where I’m out-going and loud.
  • The one where I’m quiet and shy as fuck.
  • The one I hate everyone and every little thing bothers me.

(Source: getthehelloutofmyroom, via ibelikenah)