silenthill:

*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*

see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it

(via urbancatfitters)


silversora:

Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead

(via orgasm)


mommy:

Eat anything you want and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too.

(via pizza)


jhodgins:

3 homicides in the same month, all very similar to one another. the police department is sure they have a serial murderer on the loose, but they have no leads. soon enough they receive a threatening letter. “i know i„ killde all thos e poeple but.. nwo it  s all over the nwes and people are angyr at me and i camt stop„„ cryign im so soryr im sorry ok„ i didmt mean to caues such a fuss„„„,” the case is dropped. he was so sorry. look at all those misspelled words.

(via urbancatfitters)


lamapalooza:

when your bestfriend replaces u

image

(via breakfastburritoe)


internetexplorers:

STOP SCROLLING

quick reminder that i am cool and beautiful 

ok keep scrolling

(via 10000steps)


fagome:

are you gonna kiss me or do i have to lie to my diary

(Source: codegeass, via pizza)


straigh boy problems 9

deersjaw:

when you seen a girls breasteseses and you’re like !!!!!!! dam that is turn me on! why woman have to do that??

(via bangarz)


jesuschristvevo:

do dogs think in barks

(via virginity)


cherenigans:

do you think whoever was designing the default netflix avatar made a mistake somewhere but just sat there laughing at the result for so long that the whole design team decided to keep it

image

(via flurter)